tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162629022011-04-22T00:46:28.666-04:00A friend suggested I write about what she calls "bemused observations." That sounded pretty good and is thus my intention, at least until the hysterical ranting begins.Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.comBlogger2041100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-60673803170603700702009-03-29T16:33:00.002-04:002009-03-29T16:37:54.923-04:00

1. I still know how to sign into this blog? Dayyyamn. It must be a sign.2. I only wrote one post in 2008? Cool. I'm already ahead for 2009!3. I miss writing.4. I might not be funny.5. It doesn't matter since I'm pretty sure I've shaken any last lingering readers anyway.6. I need to make some serious changes in my life.7. I'm ready.8. I need to write about it.9. Baby steps. Make blog changes &

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-69432364071641976482008-03-17T19:38:00.001-04:002008-03-17T19:39:54.862-04:00

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-6914593898660081802007-04-03T08:52:00.000-04:002007-04-03T09:09:28.791-04:00

To Whom it may concern at Clague:Please excuse Emily's tardiness. She is still not feeling 100% and had difficulty getting motivated this morning.Thank you,Lisa OlsonWhat it should have said:Dear office person at Clague whom I suspect never reads these notes anyway, so I might as well just tell the truth:Please excuse Emily's tardiness this morning. She's only about 10 minutes late, and to be

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-84510699296684110712007-04-01T17:14:00.000-04:002007-04-01T17:25:57.289-04:00

Ken: Looks like David's home. [neighbor drives up]Lisa: That's nice.Ken: Maybe I should go outside...Lisa: Okay.Ken: ...and pretend to do yard work.Lisa: Because you want to stand in the yard and talk to David?Ken: Yes! And there's a storm coming.Lisa: And you really want to talk about the storm. With David. In the yard.Ken: Yes!Lisa: I love it when you tell the truth.

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-81651536333031161862007-03-15T23:21:00.000-04:002008-12-13T07:37:04.011-05:00

1. Kid boogers left to dry on the wall long enough will not come off using common household cleaning products and/or methods. I tried misting with water. I tried soaking. I tried spray cleaner. I tried scrubbing with a cloth and then a sponge. I tried Soft Scrub. I tried rubbing really hard, too hard in fact, until the paint was starting to fade. Nope. Still there. Tomorrow I'll try: plastic

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-19120693373822607372007-03-13T11:15:00.000-04:002007-03-13T11:28:04.524-04:00

The timing of this email landing in your inbox today, at this very moment, could be Divine timing.Today may be the day for you to listen to the calling from your soul. Today you could decide to reconnect with your deeper spiritual energies. Today you have an opportunity to rediscover your connection to the Divine.Wow! And I thought I was just going to the mall...Wait, duh! It's totally going to

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-23212324214282837372007-02-13T08:14:00.000-05:002007-02-12T17:56:05.018-05:00

Emily: Why's it gotta be so cold?Lisa: See, honey, the earth is tilted...Emily: No, mom.... Not that! Why's it gotta be so cold in the car?Lisa: As I was saying, first ya got the earth being tilted...Emily: No! In the car. It's because the cold heat is blowing colder heat in here!Lisa: And you don't like my explanation?

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-59869490268872138272007-02-07T13:37:00.000-05:002007-02-22T19:00:25.096-05:00

Driving out of our neighborhood & through the next one....Emily: Does Lexi still live over here? In the brown house?Lisa: Yep. She lives here with her husband and her son.Emily: She's married? Who is she married to?Lisa: Her husband, Mr. B. You might not know him.Emily: Hmmm. What does he look like?Lisa: He's has a lot of silver hair. He wears glasses & drives a red car. He looks a little like

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-32742003956687792562007-01-16T22:50:00.000-05:002007-01-16T23:01:15.568-05:00

Lisa: Do you know what Hang Time means?Ken: no[is compelled to look it up]Ken: The amount of time a person floats in the air. It is usually used in reference to basketball players.Ken: am i right?Lisa: Oh, I still don't know.Lisa: I just had my tea leaves read on the Tazo tea site, but first I had to answer a few questions. One of them was for my hang time.Lisa: ??????Ken: my laptop is nice and

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-49620327625562473162007-01-15T21:17:00.000-05:002007-01-15T21:35:40.280-05:00

You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.What's" Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?Yes. It's true. According to the Internet, so you know it's true, I'm an Emotional Intelligence Genius with an enviable score of 147. Check out the quiz and let me know how you did. But only if you feel like sharing. Perhaps consider it. But

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-59569116337193439272007-01-13T19:28:00.000-05:002007-01-13T19:34:37.272-05:00

"You rock, mom.""I what?""You're rockin'.""Oh. I... what?""You're rockin' my childhood.""Okay, what does that mean?""It means I like you, mom.""I understand that. Good! I like you too, honey.""Yeah, you're really making my childhood fun.""Glad you're enjoying it."

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-52246823992734411512006-12-18T18:24:00.000-05:002006-12-18T18:37:54.250-05:00

Lisa: Huh?Liz: Uh huh.Lisa: What?Liz: Okay!Lisa: What did you say?Liz: Uh huh.Lisa: Wait, I mean I didn't hear the first thing you said.Liz: Seven.Lisa: WHAT???Liz: Purple.Lisa: Ohhhhh... I get it! You're messing with me.Liz: 42.

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-57235114910324953122006-12-13T23:09:00.000-05:002006-12-13T23:12:51.915-05:00

"I loth you.""You what?""I loathe you.""Uhn?""It means I hate you. I'm trying to expand my vocabulary and thanks to my language arts teacher... I loathe you."

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-52215468661907583622006-12-12T08:31:00.000-05:002006-12-12T16:26:10.926-05:00

Em: You have to give me $3 for lunch. My account is empty and I already owe $6.Lisa: I added $50 to your account yesterday morning. It's fine.Em: No! No, it isn't fine! I already owe $6!Lisa: Honey, the $6 debt will be paid out of the $50 I put in. It's fine.Em: But you did it yesterday! I won't have any lunch today! Or tomorrow!Lisa: Yes, you will. I added $50; you have plenty of lunch money.Em:

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-83955621653368088902006-12-10T16:48:00.000-05:002008-12-13T07:37:04.436-05:00

Every Sunday, my little ritual (well, one of them, right after thanking sweet baby Jesus for everything good in my life) is to check out the secrets newly posted on Post Secret. Do you freakin' know about this? NO? Go. There. Now. You must!

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-44575931851185805182006-12-08T11:11:00.000-05:002008-12-13T07:37:04.598-05:00

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-3905084074679616792006-12-07T15:48:00.000-05:002006-12-07T15:51:01.319-05:00

Em: Ohhhh.... Uggggh.... It huuuurts.Lisa: I know, honey. The medicine hasn't kicked in yet.Em: I'm looking forward to the next half hour of moaning and groaning.Lisa: Looking forward to it?Em: Yep. It's the highlight of my day.

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-61264330244256980972006-12-07T13:38:00.000-05:002006-12-07T13:51:49.207-05:00

From the latest Rolling Stone magazine, Tracy Morgan has a theory that there are two kinds of women in the world: Delilahs and not-Delilahs, women that give you strength and that take your strength.This of course got me thinking about which type I am. Answer: I can go either way. It really comes down to what mood I'm in and how many ignorant/insulting/insensitive/invalidating things he's said

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-18903851093305664112006-12-06T00:45:00.000-05:002006-12-06T12:53:04.679-05:00

Twenty more fascinating facts about me:21. If I changed my first name, I'd change it to Sallie. Or Charlotte. Or Isabel.22. I own only one pair of high heels, in red silk.23. I knew I was going to marry Ken the first time I met him.24. My favorite animal is the giant tortoise.25. I am not afraid of bugs, spiders, reptiles, rodents, snakes, or other creepy crawly-types. (but my husband is, so it

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-46551853466017355562006-11-30T23:32:00.000-05:002006-11-30T23:32:07.130-05:00

This is it, the last day of NaBloPoMo! I have to admit, I kind of liked doing it. I felt like I had to, like I owed it to M. Kennedy and everyone else sweating it out, doing their daily blogging. Did I mention when I started this there would be prizes? Oh, yes! Fabulous prizes! There are about 9000 bloggers and something like 28 prizes, but fingers crossed y'all! I could win something!When I made

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-88191697809169718892006-11-29T21:07:00.000-05:002006-11-30T17:28:00.124-05:00

Lisa: I'm not sure about hanging these pictures... I think I need to cut out templates and arrange them on paper first.Ken: So that woman, Carol, you think I should call her back again?Lisa: First I need more coffee. Did you finish it or is there some left?Ken: I left her a message yesterday & she's been good about returning calls. Maybe I'll wait until this afternoon.Lisa: I'm used to half

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-39846005334428282992006-11-28T15:02:00.000-05:002006-11-28T15:52:08.787-05:00

My closest match at My Heritage Celebrity Look-Alikes was.... Kate Bush! I'm quite pleased with the results as I adore her beautiful music and she wears leaves in her hair, which is always fetching. So hurry along now to see which eccentric English person should play you when they finally get wise and make the movie.* Oh, relax! It's just a song lyric. I don't really want to swap with Kate and

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-24319134392212330662006-11-27T22:10:00.000-05:002006-11-27T22:15:13.038-05:00

"The back of my Lego catalog has a Christmas Wish List I can fill out. But the instructions say to give it to my parents. Why would I do that? Why wouldn't I give it to my wife and kids?"

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-73129084238264771612006-11-26T11:58:00.000-05:002006-11-26T12:01:04.855-05:00

Overheard today, Sunday, the Lord's day:"Emily! Do you want me to step on your ankle?"(italics indicate beyotch-type inflection)

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-74217719285283867392006-11-25T22:46:00.000-05:002006-11-26T01:53:00.753-05:00

I did some sewing today! Actually, I did a lot of sewing today. I love to sew, but only my own creations and in manic bursts. For readers already getting bored, please go here and enjoy smacking the beejeezus out of a penguin. Everyone still interested in my projects, let's go! First up, I finally finished making some cute little curtains for the lower part of my office's built-in bookshelves.

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-55482983071960929412006-11-24T11:32:00.000-05:002006-11-24T12:20:46.614-05:00

Ah, tradition! At yesterday's turkey feast, as expected, I was asked four times by three different people (some paying more attention to answers than others) if I'd be getting up bright and early today to hit the big sales and start on my Christmas shopping. "The stores open at five, you know." As if this were an incentive.First of all, I resent the implication that I might not have already begun

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-75551664820432670542006-11-23T13:23:00.000-05:002006-11-23T13:44:31.973-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone! (3)

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-55326263995049059002006-11-22T22:03:00.000-05:002006-11-24T12:24:17.813-05:00

I don't have my Thanksgiving gratitude list finished up yet, so while I work on that, please enjoy a picture of Ken in his super sexy, he-man kitty cat sweater. I think my mom bought it for him because she lurves buying Kenny Dr. Huxtable sweaters. Do you see the kitties? Look closely, because once you do, that's all you will see. How about now? Mesmerizing, isn't it? Kitty. Kitty. Kitty. Kitty..

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-57646648991398238872006-11-21T12:55:00.000-05:002006-11-21T13:21:20.597-05:00

Please learn from my mistake and do not attempt to use up leftover multi-colored baby potatoes by mashing them and calling the lavender results Confetti 'Taters. It does not work. No one will eat them except you. Well, the dog might... she did seem interested... maybe because she's color blind? Or maybe because I kept adding cream and butter to "make them taste better so no one would notice how

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-44162573305379395532006-11-20T21:32:00.000-05:002006-11-21T12:44:10.434-05:00

11. I (try to) always have fresh flowers in my house.12. I've only had truly long hair once in my life and couldn't deal with it.13. I was born with a congenital hip displacement. I had surgery and wore a brace as a baby and now I'm strangely flexible.14. I had Ritter's Disease, a rare staph infection when I was in kindergarten. I was hospitalized for 11 days, part of it in quarantine. All of my

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-6319621875627428352006-11-19T21:52:00.000-05:002006-11-21T12:37:21.524-05:00

On Sunday I took Lizzie with me to Crazy Wisdom, a local bookstore & tea room we adore, for a beginner's pendulum class. I'm always interested in any kind of new woo-woo thing anyway, and Ken seems to be getting a little too comfortable lately with some of my "out there"-ness. I figured it was time to shake him up a bit, since I rely heavily on Ken to provide me with the counter-balancing Logic

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-37650054612179193042006-11-18T20:28:00.000-05:002006-11-20T10:30:44.744-05:00

On Saturday, our friend Bill came to town for a visit, along with his friend Jen. It was a typically chilly November day in Michigan, but he'd forgotten to bring a jacket. He was making everyone terribly uncomfortable in his short sleeves, so after lunch at Gratzi, we went shopping. For the first time ever, after having lived here for almost 20 years, we went into Sam's on Liberty and Bill tried

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-10871045176041528342006-11-17T23:36:00.000-05:002006-11-19T20:24:49.090-05:00

Here's my adorable little husband when he was about five or so, sitting with his sister, Kathy. She's the nicest big sister in the whole wide world, way nicer than me. I tortured my sister on occasion, but only for fun. On closer inspection, it does appear she's giving li'l Kenny the finger here... so maybe she's got that big sister vibe going after all. Makes me feel better, anyway!Ken had a

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-39538008885233126012006-11-16T11:35:00.000-05:002006-11-16T15:27:35.499-05:00

Williams-Sonoma, a store & livestyle I love dearly albeit rather shallowly since it is a love based mostly on W-S's beauty, sent me a guide to simplifying Thanksgiving. This is much like when Martha S., as she's referred to at her special meetings, makes suggestions for how to "simplify" something.The guide includes tips for Favorite Thanksgiving Menu, a Thanksgiving Timeline, Table Setting Ideas

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-45242166385213807892006-11-15T15:23:00.000-05:002006-11-16T15:24:06.781-05:00

Today, the 15th of November, marks the half-way point of this year's NaBloPoMo. I realize I've slipped, but seriously, I really have a good excuse this time. See, my dog ate my post and... That's not true. My dog no longer comes upstairs to my office where the fresh blog posts are kept. She is wary of the stairs now, with her slightly stiff and unsteady elderly dog bearing. Shelby is only willing

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-66980684021952852392006-11-14T13:02:00.000-05:002006-11-20T12:13:35.644-05:00

My head very helpfully provides me with background music much of the time. Often I ignore it, but sometimes it's really loud and apparent. Usually when this happens there is a message, coming from my own subconscious, I suppose. Well, I hope that's where it's coming from. It's either that or I need to start wearing my tinfoil hat again... Anyway, today's song comes courtesy of the fine gentlemen

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-41344601542087143212006-11-13T14:05:00.000-05:002006-11-16T16:16:15.917-05:00

This morning I came around the corner, into the frozen food aisle at Trader Joe's, already having a bad day. Things started looking up immediately, as soon as I saw him, standing there beside his cart. He was gorgeous. He had ruffled blond hair and the most beautiful, dark souful eyes I've ever seen. He had on cute little cargo pants and a bright yellow rain slicker. His hands were folded neatly

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-7550270922010599962006-11-12T23:32:00.000-05:002006-11-16T14:56:35.302-05:00

Like most people involved in trusting, stable love relationships that are totally going to make it long-term, I obsessively snoop around in my husband's computer every chance I get, searching for any suspicious looking email correspondence. Oh? You think that's silly? Insecure? Oh, really now? Like you've never done it?! And! The other day? I found this:From: "Nata"To: KenSubject: forHiI was

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-70045139467564068512006-11-12T17:20:00.000-05:002006-11-13T14:26:40.782-05:00

My Saturday.1. Get up; drink coffee husband has made; lavishly praise husband for having done so; read newspaper; eat healthy bowl of twigs & pebbles.2. Say good morning via online IM chat to Amber and coordinated respective days' activities. (smiley)3. Discuss with husband relative benefits of taking shower before/after attending redneck estate auction at end of street; decide against it.4. Walk

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-20327809807438814672006-11-10T20:51:00.000-05:002006-11-10T21:06:59.719-05:00

Em: Who's a musician who does their own music?Lisa: Like someone who writes their own?Em: Yeah. Writes their own songs and music, and doesn't do other people's songs.Lisa: The Beatles.Em: No. I need someone who's made more songs.Lisa: They made a lot of songs.Em: Well, someone newer then.Lisa: How about Norah Jones?Em: I don't think so.Lisa: What is this for?Em: I have to do a report on a

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-14958672851454014632006-11-09T23:20:00.000-05:002006-11-09T23:52:11.660-05:00

I'm so tired. Just... tired. This blog has had more technical problems than the proverbially uncomfortable whore in church. The metaphor, it doesn't work, see? Just like my blog. I'm going to bed. But first, a picture of Emily taken today, in Spanish class, at school, by her father, who attended Take Your Parent To School Day (the one who doesn't know enough to be really busy and is thus unable

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1162954986540342822006-11-08T20:56:00.000-05:002006-11-09T23:41:19.855-05:00

These are the beautiful flowers Blogger sent me, in my imagination, to make up for the "significant number of unplanned outages this last week and the handful of planned ones to clean up from the unplanned ones. It’s been a Murphyesque cavalcade of power failures, fileserver trouble, and wonky network hardware." There was a card attached. It said "Our apologies. We really regret these outages,

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1162956165879659812006-11-07T22:15:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:40:17.045-05:00

1. Yes. If it's on a cruise ship with my sister Allyson and our very loud & fun dinner companions Rhonda and the other Rhonda playing Roulette and drinking tiny pink cruise-ship Cosmos. (I learned rather quickly after taking this photo it's considered very poor form/illegal to take photos in a casino. Who knew?)2. Leftover roast beef.3. About two years ago, while taking an Intuitive Heart

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1162868781006006712006-11-06T21:59:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:40:16.818-05:00

The best idea I had for today's post was to ask other people what I should write about. I know. Brilliant, right? I immediatly tossed it out there to everyone I could reach at that very moment of blinding inspiration, so as to preserve the integrity of the question and keep it all special-like. If you could ask me any one question, what would it be? (I reminded them I was looking for blog ideas,

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1162782808573653472006-11-05T21:56:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:40:16.559-05:00

In today's email, from Jane.Subject line: You are my last hope...Body: Really. No one else has even laughed. We just drove by a church... and on the lighted billboard, apparently to draw us into their church, it says: Try Jesus before you reject Him.Is this not a two part instruction with a predetermined outcome?

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1162700061024374272006-11-04T23:07:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:40:16.441-05:00

This is something I'd sort of been planning to do eventually, creating ye olde traditonal One Hundred Things About Me list. Thank goodness for NaBloPoMo which includes Saturdays. Here are the first ten thrilling and amazing true facts about ME:1. I have never broken a bone, gotten a concussion, had stitches, or seriously injured myself in any way. I'm careful and fairly well-coordinated.2. I

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1162574735778047722006-11-03T12:18:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:40:16.317-05:00

I panicked, okay? I didn't have any good ideas for today and started feeling pressured and well, let's just say I'm not great under pressure. I tend to cave. Or I tend to slap a "self-portait" on the ol' blog and call it a post. I think in the actual blog world, like there really is such a thing, it's supposed to be Self-Portrait Tuesday, but I'm a rule breaker. No, I'm not. I just panicked. If I

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1162503045784349192006-11-02T16:52:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:40:16.058-05:00

The other day I was looking at Ken and not really listening, but I was making an effort to pretend I was. I looked like I was listening, and I often find that is plenty good enough for certain situations, especially when one is still reeling from learning 16 years into it that she has accidentally married a Constant Talker. I seriously had no idea about that. None. But anyway, he was saying

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1162431423337416062006-11-01T22:42:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:40:15.953-05:00

Hi there! Remember me? Your hostess? Yes! I'm baaaaaaack. Soon enough I'll get into all the details of where I've been, what I've been doing, and what it all means. Because honey, I am all about what it all means. The thing I'm delighted to share with you right now is NaBloPoMo, which is National Blog Posting Month. You are so excited!NaBloPoMo is an online pact made with my imaginary blogging

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1161810293920119092006-10-25T16:57:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:40:15.847-05:00

Ken sent me an article from The Michigan Today News he knew I'd like, because he's sweet & thoughtful that way. It was about the words "girl" and "woman" and how these terms are no longer confused by men who know what's good for them.Another interesting bit:An outgrowth of “Renaissance Festivals” is the International Wenches Guild, and those who join receive a pewter pin and a membership card.

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1160330828228303052006-10-09T20:30:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:40:15.508-05:00

Some of my fascinating dieting side effects. Because you are fas-cin-aaaa-ted. You are. In my mind, anyway. Lately it's been hard not notice my:* sense of smell: heightened. "Oh, my. Yes. That has both vanilla and ginger in it. Lovely. And it seems Daddy has had a beer and the dog needs to go out."* sense of taste: very heightened. "Seriously, is this not the best corn you've ever tasted in your

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1159883467504425132006-10-03T09:30:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:40:15.173-05:00

It's nine a.m., and the morning shuffle has ended. My kids are fed, dressed, loaded up and out the door. Now is when I sit with my Splenda-ized black coffee and read something interesting, either yesterday's newspaper, a magazine, or a chapter in a book. Soon enough I also start thinking about eating breakfast. What I want is a pair of great big warm-from-the-oven scones, generously smeared with

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1159649196959700082006-09-30T16:46:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:40:15.075-05:00

Lately it’s been a little more fireworks-y than usual around here with our darling Li’l Chica. The following is an excerpt from an IM chat I had with my fellow peace-loving, ‘fraidy-cat husband, with me in my 2nd floor office and him in his basement lair, I mean hovel, I mean office.Lisa: Is her friend still here?Kenny: dunnoKenny: i told her to call for a rideKenny: she is your kidLisa: Uh....

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1159038698137584662006-09-23T14:21:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:40:14.728-05:00

The diet I'm using is Zone based and is online at a wonderful site that I love dearly called My Food Diary. Basically I have to type in everything I eat and every minute of exercise, what kind, for how long and at what incline. There are no allowances for humidity and wind velocity, but there should be. Anyway... today for lunch I splurged and had McDonald's with my family. And yes, I realize how

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1158940019517798772006-09-22T11:44:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:40:14.481-05:00

That Ken has lived in an entirely female household for so long that he now refers to all undergarments, including his own, as "panties."

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1158848812928677702006-09-21T10:26:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:40:14.367-05:00

On Tuesday Ken and I attended curriculum night at the middle school. Due to certain oversights in baby spacing, we will have a child in middle school for six consecutive years with no overlap, the maximum sentence to parents of two children. Rookie mistake.Middle school calls this event Capsule Night and it works by having parents attend a mini-version of their child’s school day. We travel

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1158677614528437032006-09-19T10:39:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:40:14.005-05:00

I enter the freshly rearranged living room with my coffee. I sit on the sofa, now in front of the window, look around and frown. Ken enters the room with his own cup and sits in a chair.Me: This arrangement is not working. I don't like it at all.Him: Oh, no?Me: I have to make some changes.Him: Damn. I knew this would happen sooner or later.Me: Yep, it's just not comfortable like this.Him: Okay. I

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1158628332074638572006-09-18T21:11:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:40:13.881-05:00

All together now:Then say nothing at all.

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1157920891629993232006-09-11T21:59:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:40:13.296-05:00

Now that my kids are back in school and I've recovered from celebrating that fact, I'm finding my way back to doing my blog. Although badly neglected, it has apparently survived and is still in working order. Having been away for a while, I realize how much I enjoy doing this thing. I think it almost qualifies as a simple pleasure of mine, a concept I've been pondering lately. I got the idea from

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1156365168122271832006-08-23T15:19:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:40:01.371-05:00

"Get your feet off my painting right now." Said to the child lolling on the sofa, rubbing her feet on my dead grandmother's painting which is now mine. A sentimental family heirloom. Rubbing it. With her feet."Don't get jelly on the dog!" Said to the child quickly throwing together a sandwich with such wild & carefree abandon she was sending large globs of grape jelly flying around the kitchen.

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1155328722046066872006-08-11T16:31:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:40:01.228-05:00

After years of sideways glancing at the idea and then not doing anything about it, I've finally decided to go on a diet and lose weight. For real. I know, you are very excited and thrilled for me and are getting prepared to email with all sorts of supportive blatherings. I encourage you do so because I adore that kind of thing. But hang on, there's more. The stupid part. It's a contest.I bet you

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1155266908845993872006-08-10T22:50:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:40:01.086-05:00

1. Please Be Good2. Plastic Bitches Guild*Personally, I enjoy the gentle sweetness and helpful nature of the first one, but it is unfortunately not the winner. I'm so sorry. Thanks for playing. The second attempt is also incorrect.*Security Officer Lexi? You're on this one, right?

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1153538212789491802006-07-21T23:21:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:40:00.944-05:00

Emily has decided she really needs her own cell phone. First she tried asking us directly, but we said no since we really don't think she needs one. She's since cycled through all of the typical Kid Stages of Asking: begging, whining, deal-making, demanding, bargaining, pouting, etc. and all to no avail. Today Emily piloted her latest method: subliminal suggestion. Ken: Emily, please pick up your

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1153520929749315142006-07-21T18:28:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:40:00.819-05:00

I'm riding in a large RV at nighttime, and Ken is driving. We are happily motoring along when I notice I'm sitting beside Lenny Kravitz. I swoon to myself and think how damn sexy he is. Then I notice John Corbett* is sitting on my other side. I figure I probably have better chances with John Corbett and start talking to him. Pretty soon one thing leads to another and I'm making out with him. He

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1153439399283007602006-07-20T17:15:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:40:00.602-05:00

Okay, so is it just me who always thinks "Andy Warhol" when I see Dr. Andrew Weil's name? Probably. I suppose it's just the similarity of the two names, but you know who I mean, right? The new face of Origins? I agree with all the good things he has to say about health and beauty, as he has a very positive & uplifting message. And I really want to like him, but it just isn't happening. Maybe

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1152281030992329792006-07-07T09:43:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:40:00.464-05:00

Hi! I'm still writer's blocked in case you hadn't noticed. I mean, if what I do here can be considered writing and let's be honest... On second hand maybe we shall not, since pondering that concept probably won't help stimulate the olde idea flow, if you know what I mean.So a week or so ago I took an impulsive trip to San Francisco to see my buddy Bill and my sister Allyson and her lovely &

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1150834586752583312006-06-21T17:12:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:39:59.786-05:00

Lisa: UGH! How much is appropriate to reveal on a blog? Too much and I can't take it back. Too little and it seems pointless. I've painted myself into a corner!I can't talk about K's job stuff. Can't talk about L's health/illness. I don't want to talk about my own crazy "issues" bullshit.Bill: don't hurt anyoneLisa: No, of course not. I just can't seem to notice or think about anything else

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1149180088090869632006-06-01T12:20:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:39:59.132-05:00

I have a t-shirt that I bought last summer "up north" from the Life is Good store. It's charming, cute and very breezy in its irreverent sleevelessness. It also has the odd side effect of making me appear slightly dyke-ish. Not that there's anything wrong with it. I call it my lesbian shirt.Just a bit ago Ken was rushing me, as he is apparently on a mission from God to do, and was saying

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1147711340023546972006-05-15T12:40:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:39:58.404-05:00

I love this photo Ken took of the bleeding hearts we have growing by our front door. It's a perfect visual metaphor of my mother's day. See the obvious breathtaking gorgeousness of nature? Spring? Birth? Life? And with a mention of bloodshed? Yeah. I'm currently the mother of an angry teenager and a mouthy adolescent. Nice. Got some really cute earrings out of the deal though.

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1147554039812115962006-05-13T10:42:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:39:58.261-05:00

Dear Liz,Happy 14th Birthday, Honey! I realize being 13 was something of a wild ride for you, as it is for most of us... But you handled this past year with your usual grace & elegance. Dad and I are very proud of you & we couldn't love you more. Best wishes for a totally swell and highly delightful 14! Love & kisses,MumXOXOXO

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1147365158730039762006-05-11T12:24:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:39:58.133-05:00

Emily: Dad? (making lunch for school)Ken: Yes?Emily: What type of lunch box did you use when you had a job?Ken: (muffles laugh) I didn't usually take my lunch.Emily: So you got hot lunch most of the time?Ken: I guess so.Emily: How much did hot lunch cost?Ken: About $7 or so.Emily: Huh. (continues singing her way through making her lunch)

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1147127020208666612006-05-08T18:15:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:39:58.012-05:00

Emily: I love you!Lisa: Thanks. I love you too.Emily: You'd better get ready for when I'm a teenager.Lisa: What does that mean?Emily: Well, because when I'm a teenager I won't just walk by and say I love you anymore.Lisa: Why not?Emily: I'll be into teenager things.Lisa: And?Emily: When I'm thirteen I'll be really busy with teenager stuff.Lisa: Teenagers don't love their mothers?Emily: Oh, I'll

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1146936715183584862006-05-06T13:21:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:39:57.758-05:00

Ken: So Meswaaba said...Lisa: You mean Mufasa? (shudders, then giggles)Ken: (sighs) Please do not call him Mufasa.Lisa: I know. It's wrong. I'm sorry. But I can never remember his name, and every time you say it, I hear the Whoopi Goldberg hyena when she says...Ken: I know. And now so do I.Lisa: Mufasa. I just like saying it. All that power! Mufasa! Mufasa! (shivers)Ken: (rolls eyes, goes back to

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1146529493035022442006-05-01T20:14:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:39:57.247-05:00

How to know you receive too many gosh darn catalogs and it's time to call the special Please Make It Stop phone number again: In today's mail I received a catalog devoted exclusively to selling ladies' pajamas. They offer a few pairs of slippers and some of those Zsa Zsa-esque eye cover things, but for the most part it's pajamas for women. Nothing for men, and they don't do kids. Pajama-grams,

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1145997038473482152006-04-26T15:20:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:39:57.032-05:00

Look! Look what my sister sent me for my birthday! Isn't it cute? It's perfect; a thing to hang on the wall and it has one of my favorite sayings on it. Yes! My birthday was four months ago. Apparently it was on back order and then the order got goofed up and then... Oh, I don't know. But it came! And I love it! Thanks, Al.XOLisa

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1145975096358742942006-04-25T09:41:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:39:56.911-05:00

How often have I said that? More than a few times. Yes, I realize it's manipulation. You got a problem with that? Well, do you? I didn't think so. Maybe if you had a better idea what I'm dealing with, you'd understand. Lisa: (peacefully paying bills & enjoying music)Ken: (walking into my office again, already talking) Something, something, blah, blah, blah.... and what the hell are you listening

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1145632250073070652006-04-21T10:56:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:39:56.664-05:00

Funny sight yesterday: A lovely young woman, wearing flip-flops, khaki capris and a 'Dare to be DIFFERENT' t-shirt, spotted while we were both shopping in Old Navy. Hmmm... Maybe it's more of a goal for her future, then?Note: I am at home this week for spring break with many, many children, one husband and a whiny-ass needy dog. Due to that uh, stimulation, my brain simply cannot form

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1144162638486057472006-04-14T13:03:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:39:56.222-05:00

Today I'm going to post something on here, even if it sucks. I just need to get back in the saddle again, right? It feels a lot like the saddle has changed though, like someone else has been sitting in it and the contours that used to fit me so well are a little bit off. The problem is, it's me who's changed and now with blogging I feel a bit... what's that word? Little kids play with them? Those

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1144181017681742232006-04-07T10:20:00.000-04:002006-11-08T20:39:56.329-05:00

Dear Cell Phone Caller,I'll be as gentle as I can with this. Dude, you have the wrong number, okay? Tracy does not live here. She doesn't want to talk to you, see? She gave you the wrong number. I know because it's MINE, the number you keep calling. I am not now, nor have I ever been Tracy; neither am I harboring her.I know, I know... it seemed pretty special at the time didn't it? It sounds like

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1143344128963631862006-03-25T22:26:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:55.878-05:00

Tonight's Fortune Cookie: Impatience may be appropriate at this time.So. There you have it. I've got permission now. Please don't go adding that smirky little 'in bed' thing and think it stops there, either. Because this is full-spectrum impatience, baby. And I am running with it.

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1142700205304716142006-03-18T11:33:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:55.655-05:00

How to know when life has become a little too wired: I'm sitting at my computer, cursing the fact that my mom does not sign onto IM chat when I mentally will her to do so. I want to ask her something, but email is too complicated & will take too long. I concentrate harder, and she still doesn't sign on... and then it occurs to me I guess I could call her. Duh? Like, the old-fashioned way? And

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1142540288985552912006-03-16T15:13:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:55.548-05:00

Small: Gratitude to Shelby for finally figuring out how to wedge her head into the cup holder in my Jeep so she can sleep and not slide around while I'm driving. She's safer, sleeps better and looks even cuter, as if that were possible.Tall: Gratitude & relief after noticing the HUGE and very alert white Akita sitting in the front seat of a car parked at the post office. I'd been worried about

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1142442118829686002006-03-15T11:59:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:55.321-05:00

Annoying: How my horoscope provider always refers to "that certain someone" doing this or that in my life.Um, yeah. I'm married. I know exactly who you are referring to.

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1142272406865467072006-03-13T12:18:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:55.096-05:00

Life is just so... daily.Life is good!Shit happens, and then you die.SO.... what is it, then? Which one is right? What is the one true answer? Which pithy message can I safely tattoo on the back of my hand and know I'll always be on the right path? Or is it like everything else, in that it's complicated and simple at the same time, and therefore all of the above? I was just discussing this with

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1142103144636262582006-03-11T13:51:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:54.968-05:00

Emily: Mom, have you ever seen Madonna in person?Lisa: Nope, never seen her.E: Have you seen Sheryl Crow?L: No.E: Shania Twain?L: No.E: [rapid-fire asks about 4-5 more people I've never seen]L: No. Nope. Uh-uh. Never seen her, him, etc.E: You stink! You don't know anyone famous!L: Pardon me?E: I'm sorry. Well, who have you seen?L: Years ago I saw Whitney Houston, Billy Joel, Anita Baker, Bill

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1141874155557300542006-03-08T22:11:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:54.836-05:00

Liz: Mom, today is International Women's Day.Lisa: It is? Cool! Where are my presents?Emily: No, you aren't a woman anymore.Lisa: I'm not?Emily: No. You were a woman a long time ago. Now you're a mother.

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1141861558085132162006-03-08T18:31:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:54.675-05:00

Liz: My teacher keeps asking me questions.Me: He does?L: Yes! He keeps talking to me.Me: Why?L: He just asks me questions; each one twice.Me: Like what?L: He asked what I like to be called.Me: Your name?L: Yes. I said my friends call me Liz. I put extra emphasis on the word friends. I guess he wants to be my friend now because he calls me Liz!Me: What did he used to call you?L: I don't remember..

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1140448197100384792006-02-21T00:21:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:53.240-05:00

I could make a list of all the crummy stuff right now. Because I have crummy stuff too, you know. I could list it all. I could. It would include things like:* my computer going 'plaid' and destroying TWO blog entries I'd written.* the cold weather that just keeps on keeping on.* how effing annoying/boring Atkins people are/can be.* the huge pain of... The Play.* my friends who are not playing

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1139976703207005022006-02-14T23:12:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:52.985-05:00

Lisa: Emily, you have to go to bed.Emily: Yes! I know! But first [incomprehensibly long story/question]Lisa: Okay. Time for bed.Emily: Yeah, but first...Lisa: Ken, will you please put her to bed?Ken: Alright.L: Emily, go with Daddy.E: But first I want to...L: No. Go with Dad. He's going to tell you a story.E: Oh? A story from when you were little?L: Yes. Tell her a "Radio Shack" story.K: Okay!

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1139623290789951122006-02-10T22:23:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:52.584-05:00

Okay, I give up. I fought it for a long time, mostly because I liked Busch's so much and because it's just so dang far to drive all the way across town, but I'm a Trader Joe's convert now. Are you happy? Well? Are you? Will you stop pestering me now? Good.I called AAA in early January and had them do me up one of those trip-tik deals so I could find my way all the way over there to scope out the

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1139543820702025812006-02-09T22:56:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:52.459-05:00

Liz: Oh, 2010. That's when I'm supposed to graduate.Ken: Supposed to?Liz: Yeah, I guess so.Ken: Don't you mean that's when you will graduate?Liz: Hmmm... I suppose so...Ken: What?Liz: I probably will.Ken: (speechless & wincing)Lisa: Are you trying to kill your father?

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1139541988476556102006-02-09T22:23:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:52.321-05:00

Saw it today; my new favorite bumper sticker.What Would Yoda Do?Meditate on that, you must.

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1139415190939659582006-02-08T11:12:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:52.050-05:00

I just got off the phone with the dog kennel and I'm more than just a little suspicious. We'll be going on vacation for a week at the end of February, so I called to arrange some time for Shelby to stay at the Sleep Away Camp for Very Good Dogs. (That's what we tell her it's called, so the whole thing seems less... prison holding cell-ish.) I called up and told the woman on the phone what I

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1139363891731953642006-02-07T20:58:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:51.929-05:00

This is a popular deal in the blog world, this thing called a meme. It basically means I will now talk about me, me, and me. If you’re really cool and have other blogger-type friends, then they will tag you, which of course means you’re it and have to do the next meme. I however, remain an anonymous lurker, just like you. Yes, you. I see you there. Anyway, here’s my answer to the first question:

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1139081251079265122006-02-04T14:25:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:51.804-05:00

This morning, while waiting in line at Bob Evan's with my Mack, I saw a sign that said 'Soothe Your Soul, Meatloaf and Gravy.' I thought, hmmm... for rizzle? I don't mean any disrespect or intend to diss on Bob, but that sign is totally wack. Bob Evans needs to represent.Didn't understand the above? That used to be me, too, until I discovered www.urbandictionary.com which has virtually saved my

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1138897506173546372006-02-02T11:26:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:51.655-05:00

Small: To whoever put Disney stickers all over the food in our kitchen and created a pleasant little surprise/mystery for me. First, I noticed two apples had Jiminy Cricket stickers stuck to them. Then, the orange juice carton had a Donald Duck sticker on it. Pretty soon Goofy was on the Swiss Miss... Mickey on the Triscuits... Daisy Duck on the milk... I've stopped myself from searching for more

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1138756762692136192006-01-31T20:20:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:51.515-05:00

Sales Associate #1: Hi! How are you?Lisa: Hi! I’m pretty good now, but this morning, whoa! It was crazy! My husband’s car wouldn’t start. We’re pretty sure it’s the ignition. He’d been having trouble with his key lately but it’s just not the kind of thing you’d think to have checked out, you know?Sales Associate #2: Are you finding everything okay?Lisa: Yes. It’s really easy though, since you

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1138630869860952372006-01-30T09:30:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:51.264-05:00

As he was about to leave this morning, Ken patted me on the head and said something very general that means “goodbye.” I thought the neutrality of the head pat combined with whatever it was he said, it being so bland I can’t even remember what it was… was all a bit sober & businesslike, even for married folks. I called towards his back “Pretty soon you’re going to start calling me Pal” and he

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1138544672705313612006-01-29T09:24:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:51.116-05:00

I just had a dream, not really a nightmare, but pretty bad nonetheless. Then I woke up and thought perfect for the blog. So that's strange... but anyway.I lived in a tiny village that looked exactly like Ann Arbor, except it was summertime and I knew it was always summertime there. I lived right downtown, in an adorable little cottage, just off of Division Street. Oh, and there was a lovely ocean

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16262902.post-1138478225208255422006-01-28T14:58:00.000-05:002006-11-08T20:39:50.981-05:00

I've never been someone who could be mistaken for an athlete. I do not like sports and so there I've said it. Until now. It turns out some of the stuff I already enjoy doing (and am very good at) have been gathered together and named. And get this, it's a sport, yo. Meditation, yoga, shoe shopping, opera-going, daydreaming and napping. Put 'em all together and it's called, wait for it, because

Shelby's Mumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06583843025636189853noreply@blogger.com2