It's nine a.m., and the morning shuffle has ended. My kids are fed, dressed, loaded up and out the door. Now is when I sit with my Splenda-ized black coffee and read something interesting, either yesterday's newspaper, a magazine, or a chapter in a book. Soon enough I also start thinking about eating breakfast. What I want is a pair of great big warm-from-the-oven scones, generously smeared with creamy butter that will melt just so, and what the heck since it's just a fantasy anyway, I'll add the perfect amount of delicious strawberry jam and big dabs of that English cream stuff that looks like sour cream but isn't.
But no, I won't be having the scones today. No, no, no, no, no. Or as my lovely friend Miss Amber says "Oh, hellllllll no." Instead I'm going to diligently eat a bowl of twigs (All Bran), with skim milk as usual, both having been carefully measured. For color and so it looks more like the picture on the box, I'll jauntily toss a handful of raspberries on top. Then I will dutifully enter the whole thing into my online food diary, for the satisfaction part.
Fantasy breakfast: 2 fabulous Breadsmith scones, 2 T. rich creamy delicious butter which is now but a fond memory, 2 T. Windstone Farms Kentucky strawberry jam, and 1/4 cup sour cream because I can't find the calorie count for clotted cream and figure it's probably close enough for this self-indulgent exercise: 615 calories, unspeakable fat and non-existent fiber. This "meal" is so nutritionally bereft the computer senses a security breach and demands my password again, for my own protection.
My actual breakfast: 1/2 cup All Bran cereal twigs, 1 cup skim milk, 1/2 cup fresh raspberries: 202 calories, high fiber, very low fat. This meal is so healthy the computer actually congratulates me and applauds a little bit.
Update: The competition is on vacation and occasionally sends text messages that say things like "8000 calories today." The contest has been extended an additional two weeks, and now ends October 13th. I have about a pound to go.