On Tuesday Ken and I attended curriculum night at the middle school. Due to certain oversights in baby spacing, we will have a child in middle school for six consecutive years with no overlap, the maximum sentence to parents of two children. Rookie mistake.
Middle school calls this event Capsule Night and it works by having parents attend a mini-version of their child’s school day. We travel around the building with schedules in hand, visiting each classroom for about 10 minutes, meeting the various teachers. As this is our 4th time attending Captive Night, I mean Capsule Night, we are old pros and don’t really anticipate surprises.
Ms. Stunning: Hi! Welcome! I’m Ms. Stunning, the nicest, most enthusiastic and amazing middle school teacher you’ve ever met or dreamed of. Who is your child?
Ken: Hi. I’m Ken Olson. I’m Emily’s dad and this is…
Ms. Stunning: Emily?
Ken: Uh, yeah. Emily Olson?
Ms. Stunning: Oh! You mean Jackie. You must be Jackie’s parents!
Lisa: Oh, god.
Ms. Stunning: You must be Jackie’s mom!
Lisa: Yes. I’m Lisa. It’s a pleasure to meet you.
Ken: No. Emily Olson. We are Emily’s parents… and… she…
Ms. Stunning: Yes! Your daughter is really something.
Lisa: That’s our Jackie.
Ms. Stunning: Although, I believe she’s changed the spelling now to be J-a-c-q-u-i-e?
Lisa: Yes. She mentioned that.
Lisa: You know how teachers ask at the beginning of a new school year what each kid would like to be called?
Ken: Oh, god.