After years of sideways glancing at the idea and then not doing anything about it, I've finally decided to go on a diet and lose weight. For real. I know, you are very excited and thrilled for me and are getting prepared to email with all sorts of supportive blatherings. I encourage you do so because I adore that kind of thing. But hang on, there's more. The stupid part. It's a contest.
I bet you are rolling your eyes heavenward and thinking oh Lisa how could you? You are remembering everything Oprah has said on the subject and thinking how this is soooo not the way to go. I would caution you to just wait a darn minute and hear the rest, because it gets even worse. I have to lose a certain number of pounds in a certain chunk of time. Yes! And it's a fairly aggressive goal, too. But wait! There's more! A cash penalty!!
If I should fail, I have agreed to fork over $1000. I know! Insane, isn't it? Pure lunacy. But here's the good part, the part you are forgetting about, getting all upset the way you are... The other contestants are in the same exact boat as me. They will have to pay up a thousand clams* if they fail to lose their fairly aggessive poundage goals also. I am going to lose weight, people, and I'm going to get paid to do it!
* this is just a slang term for US currency, not yummy deep fried clams which are golden brown & crispy-crunchy delicious and starting to haunt my dreams.