Friday, August 11, 2006

Just When You Thought I Was So Sensible

After years of sideways glancing at the idea and then not doing anything about it, I've finally decided to go on a diet and lose weight. For real. I know, you are very excited and thrilled for me and are getting prepared to email with all sorts of supportive blatherings. I encourage you do so because I adore that kind of thing. But hang on, there's more. The stupid part. It's a contest.

I bet you are rolling your eyes heavenward and thinking oh Lisa how could you? You are remembering everything Oprah has said on the subject and thinking how this is soooo not the way to go. I would caution you to just wait a darn minute and hear the rest, because it gets even worse. I have to lose a certain number of pounds in a certain chunk of time. Yes! And it's a fairly aggressive goal, too. But wait! There's more! A cash penalty!!

If I should fail, I have agreed to fork over $1000. I know! Insane, isn't it? Pure lunacy. But here's the good part, the part you are forgetting about, getting all upset the way you are... The other contestants are in the same exact boat as me. They will have to pay up a thousand clams* if they fail to lose their fairly aggessive poundage goals also. I am going to lose weight, people, and I'm going to get paid to do it!

* this is just a slang term for US currency, not yummy deep fried clams which are golden brown & crispy-crunchy delicious and starting to haunt my dreams.


Anonymous said...

Yummy. I want some of those Clams.
I just know that you will WIN!!!
How many other contestants are there?

Ken said...

Don't worry readers. Lisa didn't agree to any amount over $10. It's still a good contest and I support her in every way. She even accepted my kitchen suggestion today of substituting turkey as the main ingredient of her lunch with pear. Yes, pear.

Shelby's Mum said...

Anonymous, THANK YOU for the support. If I knew who you were, ahem, and if I actually had those clams, I would so give them to you. Because I can't eat them; I have a contest to win.

There are 2 other contestants. I could end up with $2000!

Thanks again!

Shelby's Mum said...

Oh, Kenny. Denial is totally groovy, isn't it?

Angie said...

Good for you & good luck! That money will come in handy while purchasing a new wardrobe! :)

Shelby's Mum said...

Thanks Angie! And I like your thinking on how to spend my prize money. :)

Anonymous said...

There's nothing like Old Navy.
Can I go with you???

Aunt Allyson said...

GOOD FOR YOU!!! I know you will kick ass and take names as I know who you are up against. (Haha...)
And true, the money will come in handy for clothes.