Friday, July 21, 2006

Subtle As A Brick

Emily has decided she really needs her own cell phone. First she tried asking us directly, but we said no since we really don't think she needs one. She's since cycled through all of the typical Kid Stages of Asking: begging, whining, deal-making, demanding, bargaining, pouting, etc. and all to no avail. Today Emily piloted her latest method: subliminal suggestion.

Ken: Emily, please pick up your shoes.
Emily: Okay, Daddy Cell Phone.

Ken: Do you have your suitcase all packed?
Emily: Yes, Daddy Cell Phone.

Ken: It's time for bed.
Emily: Okay, but Daddy Cell Phone, can I get a little Chihuahua named Martini?
Ken: No.

Emily: Why is your face so red, Daddy Cell Phone?
Ken: Because I'm... I don't know.
Emily: But Daddy Cell Phone, it's really red.
Ken: Leave me alone!

Lisa: Emily, go to bed.
Emily: Okay, Mommy Chihuahua...

Everyone's Happy Dream

I'm riding in a large RV at nighttime, and Ken is driving. We are happily motoring along when I notice I'm sitting beside Lenny Kravitz. I swoon to myself and think how damn sexy he is. Then I notice John Corbett* is sitting on my other side. I figure I probably have better chances with John Corbett and start talking to him. Pretty soon one thing leads to another and I'm making out with him. He suddenly puts a stop to the action and explains very earnestly that he's on a deeply spiritual journey and it involves celibacy. I find him even more attractive and we go back to making out. Lenny mentions that he's cool with the situation and is happy just to ride. Ken is happy because he still gets to drive.

* The tall guy on Northern Exposure who played Chris, the philosophical deejay? He also played one of Carrie's boyfriends on Sex & The City. The tall philosophical one that made furniture?

Thursday, July 20, 2006

You're Beautiful, It's True?

Okay, so is it just me who always thinks "Andy Warhol" when I see Dr. Andrew Weil's name? Probably. I suppose it's just the similarity of the two names, but you know who I mean, right? The new face of Origins? I agree with all the good things he has to say about health and beauty, as he has a very positive & uplifting message. And I really want to like him, but it just isn't happening. Maybe because he looks like the miracle love child of Santa Claus and Celine Dion's husband? Something about that image just isn't appealing while shopping for lip gloss and face scrub.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Please Insert Intriguing Post Title Here As I Am Unable To Think Of One And This Is Usually The Hardest Part Anyway

Hi! I'm still writer's blocked in case you hadn't noticed. I mean, if what I do here can be considered writing and let's be honest... On second hand maybe we shall not, since pondering that concept probably won't help stimulate the olde idea flow, if you know what I mean.

So a week or so ago I took an impulsive trip to San Francisco to see my buddy Bill and my sister Allyson and her lovely & charming family. It was a wonderfully relaxing break for me, to get away from home. So wonderful, in fact, I've decided to go away again! Yes! We are leaving momentarily for what currently sounds most likely to be a trip to Georgia and then maybe North Carolina but we really aren't sure. I have a choice to either be angry &/or highly frustrated about how infuriating this whole No Plan thing is or I can choose to see the situation as irreverantly quirky and a perfect opportunity to be refreshingly spontaneous! Mostly I choose the latter, which I think is best for everyone. Especially me and my whole inner peace thing and the not strangling my friends and then going to prison part.

Okay, so why have I babbled on like this? I guess just to let you know, dear kind gentle blog readers, that you are never far from my thoughts. It's just that I've been away and now I'm going again. Bon voyage! Until next week! Or maybe later! Because I'm not sure! Ciao!