Today I'm going to post something on here, even if it sucks. I just need to get back in the saddle again, right? It feels a lot like the saddle has changed though, like someone else has been sitting in it and the contours that used to fit me so well are a little bit off. The problem is, it's me who's changed and now with blogging I feel a bit... what's that word? Little kids play with them? Those cube shaped things?
(okay, it's a start. keep going.)
What did I ever write about on here, again? I went back and read some of it, and I admit it amuses me. But where did I get the stuff from? Dunno. It somehow seems impossible for me to think that way any longer. Am I upset? unhappy? depressed? No, quite the opposite actually. Maybe I'm in denial? No. I don't think so... Things are very good right now. Peaceful. Calm. I feel centered and like I'm bordering on, dare I say it? Serene.
(sort of babbling, but keep going)
I'd mentioned earlier that my friend situation was changing, and wow has it ever, and all for the better. The Play is finally over. Thank you, Jesus. Kwan Yin is still working her quiet magic and I am lovingkindnessing people daily. I finally deleted my old horoscope (which made me sound like a party animal/whore... not that there's anything wrong with that) after finding a lovely new one called the Daily Om, which is soothing and reassuring. The kids are doing well; everyone is getting what they need and some of what they want. Ken got laid off from work, and it's a good thing, just the nudge he needed. Spring is definitely here and it feels soooo good. Some of the neighbors on our little court gathered for a progressive dinner last weekend that reminded me how much I love living here. Let's see, what else?
(um..... go back to that thing about Ken...)
Oh, yes. Ken got laid off from his job. Didn't I mention? Yes. It came as not much of a surprise. I had a harder time with it than he did, but things are fine now. Everything is going to be just fine. It is. It really is. Just fine. He has a very nice severence package and all is well. At first I was careful to only tell people I knew wouldn't trigger my panic button & would only say reassuring things like "This is great! What a wonderful opportunity! and He should have left that place a long time ago." It was very nice floating around in that supportive space for a week or so, but now it's time to tell everyone. He's home all the time now.
(Hmmm..... how do you feel about that?)
I like having him here, most of the time. Mornings are strange, since he doesn't bolt out of bed and immediately start getting ready for work. We've had to review morning speaking-to-Liz procedures in order to maximize her chances of on-time arrival at school. We learned to not go to the grocery store together. We learned Lisa absolutely needs a chunk of Alone Time every day.
(yeah, yeah.... what about Ken getting a new job!)
He has gotten his resume together and started sending it out. He's contacted every person he can think of who might be of some use or assistance or know something. He's talked to head hunters, gone to meetings, had lunches, etc. He is On. Top. Of. Things.
(oh, my god! you might have to move! are you going to move?)
We don't know. We talk about it. We think about it. At this point, the job search is for the Ann Arbor and within-sane-driving-distance areas. We'll see what happens. People are wonderful. The ones far away say "Come live out here! Come live by us!" and the ones here say "Don't go! Please stay! We don't want you to leave!" which is exactly the best situation to be in.
(you are handling things so well. you are quite stable & balanced, aren't you?)
Yes. We both are. Everything is going to be okay.