Saturday, March 25, 2006

Enough Mrs. Nice Guy

Tonight's Fortune Cookie: Impatience may be appropriate at this time.

So. There you have it. I've got permission now. Please don't go adding that smirky little 'in bed' thing and think it stops there, either. Because this is full-spectrum impatience, baby. And I am running with it.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Reach Out And Touch Someone

How to know when life has become a little too wired: I'm sitting at my computer, cursing the fact that my mom does not sign onto IM chat when I mentally will her to do so. I want to ask her something, but email is too complicated & will take too long. I concentrate harder, and she still doesn't sign on... and then it occurs to me I guess I could call her. Duh? Like, the old-fashioned way? And then I wonder if she can text message...

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Gratitude: Apportioned Starbucks Style

Small: Gratitude to Shelby for finally figuring out how to wedge her head into the cup holder in my Jeep so she can sleep and not slide around while I'm driving. She's safer, sleeps better and looks even cuter, as if that were possible.

Tall: Gratitude & relief after noticing the HUGE and very alert white Akita sitting in the front seat of a car parked at the post office. I'd been worried about the two sleeping toddlers in the backseat, but they were definitely well tended & protected during the few minutes their mom was inside.

Grande: Gratitude for HND* finally coming out of his wintery hiding place and waving at me (!) as I drove by. It only got better when I realized he was talking on his cell phone and had used that hand to wave with, thus interrupting his conversation. (!!)

Venti: Gratitude for my darling friend Susan, of course, for being on the props committee with me at The Play, and me finally having access to someone who not only knows exactly what she is doing but is more than willing to share her wisdom. I learned more (and did more!) in one night with her than during my whole time (weeks) listening to the guy in charge backstage. Lesson: Dorothy was right. Ignore the man behind the curtain.

* Hot Neighborhood Dad, for any new readers.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

That Certain Someone

Annoying: How my horoscope provider always refers to "that certain someone" doing this or that in my life.

Um, yeah. I'm married. I know exactly who you are referring to.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Live In The Present Moment, Wisely And Earnestly

Life is just so... daily.
Life is good!
Shit happens, and then you die.

SO.... what is it, then? Which one is right? What is the one true answer? Which pithy message can I safely tattoo on the back of my hand and know I'll always be on the right path? Or is it like everything else, in that it's complicated and simple at the same time, and therefore all of the above? I was just discussing this with my friend Joan, how frustrating those contradictory little slogans and sayings can be. That surely must mean some are right and some are wrong, right? But then I saw it, the silver-lining loophole. Yes, those helpful sayings contradict one another, and it's good thing, too, because then we can choose. We get to choose what kind of day or life we are having and what kind of helpful/pithy reminder we'd like to employ! Today I feel obsessive & perfectionistic, thus It's All in the Details and Every Little Bit Matters. Tomorrow I might feel bold and expansive and prefer the mantra Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. Take What You Can Use and Leave the Rest! Brilliant!

As for me, yes, I've been neglecting my blog, and my darling readers, because my life has just taken over and has spun off a little life of its own lately. But... It's All Good. It really, really is. Sure, it's a rollercoaster of ups and downs. I can almost watch it, too. I can very nearly "see" the ups and downs as they unfold; definitely I can feel them. I keep thinking while I'm up this is it, this is where I want to be and where I want to stay. Then I mentally compose a mass email to everyone I know asking them all to not breathe or change a single darn thing (because it's all about me) so I can relax and enjoy the view from up top for a while. But that usually happens while I'm driving or in the shower and can't get to my computer. Then by the time I can safely pound out my missive, life has changed again! Change is The Only Thing We Can Count On, So Get Comfy With It. Or is it Make Friends With Change? How about Be Grateful For The Pluses in Your Life and Be Creative With the Negatives?

My new friend, who is responsible for one of the ups (Hi, Amber! Thanks, Bill!), would say it's all about Balance. She also says something about the futility of trying to teach a pig to sing, although I don't know her all that well yet and am very curious to learn how she even came to try that... I don't have the exact wording, but she says it doesn't work anyway, and it annoys the pig. I like that one, but I also enjoy Don't Blame A Pig For Being A Pig, which I got from Dharma & Greg. Perhaps the etymology of that last ditty renders it slightly questionable for a life plan...

Anyway! I seem to be getting a better handle on things, and seeing my world more clearly. What has happened is, the characters have sort of changed places, in a way. I can't go into detail and name names, except to say that people have rearranged themselves and while the process was a bit uncomfortable, its verrrrry nice now. I like it. Just. Like. This.

Everyone: SIT. STAY! OR MOVE! OR NOT!

All Is Well.
Everything Works Out In The End.
The End.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Mom Lesson #692: Just The Way You Are

Emily: Mom, have you ever seen Madonna in person?
Lisa: Nope, never seen her.
E: Have you seen Sheryl Crow?
L: No.
E: Shania Twain?
L: No.
E: [rapid-fire asks about 4-5 more people I've never seen]
L: No. Nope. Uh-uh. Never seen her, him, etc.
E: You stink! You don't know anyone famous!
L: Pardon me?
E: I'm sorry. Well, who have you seen?
L: Years ago I saw Whitney Houston, Billy Joel, Anita Baker, Bill Cosby...
E: Bill Cosby? YOU ROCK! And Billy Joe in Greenday?
L: No.... Billy JOEL.
E: Who's that?
L: He's a little older. Listen to this song of his, perhaps you've heard it. It's called Just The Way You Are. It's all about loving people for exactly who they are.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

So That's What Happened...

Liz: Mom, today is International Women's Day.
Lisa: It is? Cool! Where are my presents?
Emily: No, you aren't a woman anymore.
Lisa: I'm not?
Emily: No. You were a woman a long time ago. Now you're a mother.

Call Her Miss Olson, If You're Nasty

Liz: My teacher keeps asking me questions.
Me: He does?
L: Yes! He keeps talking to me.
Me: Why?
L: He just asks me questions; each one twice.
Me: Like what?
L: He asked what I like to be called.
Me: Your name?
L: Yes. I said my friends call me Liz. I put extra emphasis on the word friends. I guess he wants to be my friend now because he calls me Liz!
Me: What did he used to call you?
L: I don't remember...
Me: I think he meant to ask what you would like for him to call you.
L: OH! Well, I want him to call me Elisabeth.
Me: Only close people, friends and family can call you Liz?
L: Right. It's not like I want him in my posse!