Saturday, December 24, 2005

Discussing My Need To Discreetly Carry Small Quantities Of Substances

Don't get excited, I'm talking about salt. Specifically, real salt that I need to bring with me to certain houses because the residents only eat "healthy salt" which has reduced something in it, or I guess I should say not in it, to make it healthier. Sodium? Anyway, it tastes so metallic to me it's like licking the side of a battleship. I told Ken not to make a fuss, that I'd just bring some of my own full-octane salt & discreetly sprinkle it on my food as needed.

Lisa: I need one of those rings, I think they're called poison rings.
Ken: What is that?
Lisa: It's a medieval domed ring with a hinged lid & a secret compartment where witchy women would keep their poison.
Ken: Poison?
Lisa: Yes, you know, to sprinkle into an unsuspecting victim's drink. Like Iocade powder in Princess Bride. "Inconceivable..."
Ken: What? Iocane?
Lisa: Iocame?
Ken: Iocane! Iocane. It's I-o-cane.
Lisa: Iocade? Iocame.
Ken: Cane! Cane! with an N! There's no M! And certainly no D!
Lisa: Iocane. Iocane powder that I'd sprinkle into my husband's drink.
Ken: Yes.


Ken said...

Let the record show that my tone of voice was not adequately conveyed. The author of the blog was exclaimation-point-happy.

Anonymous said...


In lieu of a medieval domed ring, (difficult to find this time of year), a jewel encrusted pill box works well for carrying one's Iocane.

Anonymous said...

Spelling correction: Iocane

Joan Who Knows Danger When She Sees It. said...

OK folks... Am I the only one who notices that like chickens furiously pecking atstones when in extreme danger, everyone is avoiding talking about the REAL issue here? Lisa is about to poisen Ken, Ken is blisfully unaware and all you guys can think about is GRAMMAR? Holy smokes. Remind me not to call you guys when I'm in real danger!