Items in Ken's "secret hiding place" way up high, in an upper kitchen cupboard, far above the kids' and my heads. Where we will never look.
* Various Keebler Elf Fudge-y type products he buys and is unwilling to share because "the kids will eat them all." Duh.
* The "good" remote control clicker. Hmmm. The word CONTROL is right in the item's name... need I say more?
* Emily's baggie of candy from her own stinking birthday party. Again, "because she will eat it" and we wouldn't want that to happen.
* The wine foil cutter thingy. This one escapes me. Is he afraid we will... open wine with it? Lose it? Play with it irresponsibly by trimming the dog's toenails? Dull it by opening root beers and tearing into cans of pineapple juice?
* Rumored stash of Oreos. This one's only an urban legend as far as I can tell. I've never seen any Oreos, but I'm not sure about my kids and that one little neighbor girl. They kind of wink and nudge each other when "Oreos" are mentioned, secret pact firmly in place.
(confidential to Mrs. Sutherland: Scorpio!)