Saturday, October 01, 2005
Let's Go Brogering (or not)
I just had the most fun at the grocery store near my house, you know, the one that rhymes with Broger’s? I know it doesn’t sound too likely, especially at that particular Broger’s but it happened. I went specifically to shop for goodies to fill loot bags for Emily’s backwards birthday party this weekend. A backwards party means the kids wear their clothes backwards, we hang balloons upside down, do all the party activities in reverse order, etc. Emily and I decided the ‘baddie’ bags should have unusual, strange, backwards-ish things in them as well. So I had a fine time wheeling around in Broger’s looking for inexpensive, odd items sold in multiples of twelve. I got asparagus spears, q-tips, tiny boxes of Nerds, a dozen kiwi, baby bottle nipples, fish sticks, men’s socks, etc. I lucked out because there were several 75% off clearance carts just brimming full of weird stuff they were practically giving away, so it was a very successful trip indeed. At the checkout I was careful to select the optimal-looking cashier, as always. I chose a cute young guy with a long pony tail, thinking he’d be cool and either see the whole thing as fun or he’d have that highly focused male approach to the whole thing and at least I’d get out of there quickly. As it turns out, he totally saw the humor in it after I explained to him how all this strange stuff was for a birthday party for my little girl, and he chuckled right along with me at how surprised and delighted those kids are going to be when they see all this weird stuff. Oh no, wait a sec, that’s not exactly what happened, because he was a total dick about it. In fact he somehow managed to be extra surly even for Broger's as he very dramatically scanned each and every one of my Twelve. Of. Each. Item. I am not a beginner, folks, not by a long shot. I know they can just scan ONE of each item and then key in the times twelve part. I, my own bad self, was a cashier a hundred years ago and we could do it way back then, so the mind just reels to think about what a state-of-the-art Broger’s cash register can likely do now-a-days. It was bad people, even for Broger’s. So I was standing there and started seeing that I had a choice. I could get upset and angry at rhymes with Boshua or I could still enjoy myself and try to help him out at the same time. And that is why I’m now writing to you, dear readers. If you are local and happen to be in the Broger’s on Blymouth Boad, and have the good fortune to have your purchases checked out by rhymes with Boshua, please do us all a favor and slide him an extra heapin’ helping of friendly, perhaps smile warmly and flash a little cleavage if ya got ‘em because I really think he could use the pick-me-up.