Friday, September 23, 2005

Universal Balance

I swear I didn't plan to talk about HND this much. My idea was to post something about him once a week or so, mostly to tease my friends as they try to figure out who he is. But something just happened, and I can't wait till next week. Besides, I'm kind of confused about it and this is how I figure things out.

I was driving by his house a little bit ago and couldn't help but notice he was out in his driveway, washing his SUV. He had on nice shorts & a t-shirt, a Life Is Good hat and bare feet. I'm the first one to admit I'm a total and complete sucker for the casual look. What more could I ask for? All of the colors were good and everything matched and the sun was shining and the water was misting over him in a lovely arc and the visual part was very good indeed. I was driving along thinking how I could just spread him on a cracker, he's so delicious. And that is exactly when I should have realized I was ahead, counted my blessings and turned away.

Unfortunately, HND's hose has one of those squeeze sprayers on it, so when he dropped it and then stepped on it he sprayed himself. That's when he started jumping around trying to stop stepping on the sprayer, but of course he was also trying to stay out of the stream of water. So the more he tried the more he kept stepping on it and spraying himself. It was adorably cute, like a commercial it was so darn cute. And again, I should have looked away. Because that is when I noticed he was dancing around trying to not get his damn cigarette wet, because he smokes, which is probably why he dropped his hose in the first place.

Are you kidding me? HND not only smokes, but he needs a cigarette so badly he has to smoke while washing the car? He can't wait that long, until he's finished? Or is he so uncoordinated he can't do both at the same time? I tell ya, the Universe? She giveth and she taketh away, sometimes with blinding speed.

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